I went over to my best friend’s house on the middle of the night,
My mama found out and started to pout,
Saying, “Spill the beans, or else we’ll have a fight!”
So that’s what I did, all over the table, just that Saturday night.
Why won’t anyone pass me the beans anymore?
Who would dare to ride the fastest horse?
I would!
Who would dare to make their own type of Morse?
I could!
Who would dare to toilet paper the neighbor’s house in the middle of the night?
Hehehe…I might…
I didn’t do it
No, not me.
I was….cleaning windows,
As you can plainly see.
It was obviously Tabetha,
Are you blind?
But if I did do it,
Would you mind?
Talk in Nac Mac Feegle,
An’ spread it all ’round.
Everyone just drink and party,
An’ be really loud.
That’s Nac Mac Feegle, ye ken,
An’ there be no doubt about it,
Ye’d ken one anywhere,
(They’re blue and small and about 6 inches tall.)
Don’ knock yer head on a Feegle’s,
(It will really hurt,)
Even though he’s tiny,
Wait until ye’v had a growth spurt.
In the dead king’s burial mound,
‘Tis where the Feegles build their town.
If ye want to visit them, don’t,
Because they’ll call ye a scunner.
I am the Maker,
Maker of all things,
Have you ever wondered,
How people make slings?
Well, if you haven’t,
This is your time to know,
I am the Maker of all things,
Even your favorite show.
I am the Creator of Poems,
Those things are true,
And I am the Maker,
Of skies that are blue.
Even when they’re dull,
I bring the clouds,
So spring will come,
Then who to will you bow?
Me, of course,
The Maker of all stuff,
I can tell when you bow,
If you mean it or bluff.
Hey, I’m Dan the Man,
And I’m gonna show you how to wash a pan!
If there’s anything that I don’t know, I’d better.
I know how to swim at a pool,
I know how babies drool.
I know why the sky is blue,
But wait, you say you know that too?
You know that an apple’s red?
You know how to sleep in bed?
You know that owls can see at night?
You know that foxes can fight?
Wow, I guess I’m not as smart as I thought at first,
Because everyone knows how to quench their thirst,
And that everyone in the world jumping at the same time,
Will not move the earth.
Hey, I’m Dan the Man,
But I guess you know how to clean a pan,
And there’s anything smart that I actually know,
I don’t.
I try to tell them to check under my bed and in the dresser,
They check the closet and say the bed is no lesser,
I bet that’s where they all are,
Laughing at me, har har har.
In the dark of my very own room,
What awaits in the gloom?
A monster with razor sharp claws?
A vampire with bloody jaws?
Will they even care at all?
If there’s a creature in the hall?
Uh oh, something under the bed is drooling…
Gems, as beautiful as they can be,
Blue, and red, and green of the sea.
Watch out for plastic though,
Those can make great imitations.
One way to tell them apart,
Is that they glow green when you fart.
The gems, I mean.
And if you are keen,
To find real ones, I mean,
Start mining!
I’m being chased by a car,
And I need to get far.
A cheetah is coming after me,
Will I survive? Oh, gee.
Now its a bull right behind,
Charging at me, it’s outta its mind.
Not getting out, whelp,
I so badly need help!
Now it’s a big hungry dog,
Oops, and now I tripped on a log.
I am gonna die,
Right here, where I lie.
Guess what, now it’s a tiny cat,
And it wants to snuggle on my lap!
I am The Dragon of Wishes,
Though everyone fears me.
If they got close enough to pray,
Their wishes would come true, believe me.
But never have they set a foot,
Inside this gloomy cave,
Want to know what they would do?
Oh, they would run away.
I am stuck here,
Day and night.
Never have I seen the light.
Unless someone makes a wish,
I am stuck here,
Like a trapped dinner dish.
Goodbye, freedom, see you soon,
I hope someone makes a wish at noon.